Even though it is only a few months ago, looking at this picture I find it hard to remember what this felt like. Ok, yeah, i remember I was tired towards the end. How my whole body ached with a tiredness I had never felt prior to being pregnant. And I remember- parts of- labour. But just trying to remember all those moments when I carried Nahla around inside me is both easy and difficult. I remember certain things, like how I would get nervous if I hadn't felt her move or kick in a while, and how I would drink a glass of really cold water to get her going, just so I could feel those reassuring flutterings, knowing my little baby was happy and well. I remember finding out I was pregnant, how it didn't really feel real at all until I could see it, feel my belly grow and those little "bubbles" movements inside me. Impossible to describe to someone who have not been pregnant yet. I remember BF and myself feeling how she had the hiccups, these regular little movements down the bottom of my belly, both of us with our palms pressed against her, willing to feel her, get to know her. In one way it seems so close, like it was only yesterday she was in there, part of me, just along for the ride in whatever I was doing. And yet, when I look at her now, all 8,6 kg of her and little toothy smile, it feels like she was always here, on this planet, with me, with us. Like I love her so so much that sure it feels like a lifetime of love.
What never ceases to amaze me though when I see pregnant bellies, the most beautiful thing ever, is that in there, all snuggled up, is a little person just being made. It is so crazy and insane when you think about it. Like I look at Nahla now, this amazing little funny person, full of thoughts and opinions and love, and still cannot believe that we made her! We made her and then she grew inside me and now she is here. What an amazing amazing tool our bodies really are. It is truly the most significant experience of my life, growing this baby and having her and sharing my life with her, and I know for sure that some day I want to do it all again!
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